Week 5 of Season XI of the QMLS proved a record-breaking week, with goals and injuries galore! We saw a brilliant piece of work from the Metal Heads that blew the race for the play-offs wide open, whilst the Dark Elves saw their hopes shattered with their squad getting blown up by reigning champions the Bognor Bograts.
1. Bognor Bograts (Last Week: =1) Won 2-0 vs Assassins
Bograts decimated the Underearth Assassin's squad while setting an all-time record breaking ninth consecutive QMLS win. The game finished with 11 casualties, just 1 shy of another QMLS record. Victory came at a cost with Emerging Star, Troy Pekorinho, retiring early due to suffering a smashed collar bone. Bognor's damage output will be tested severely with the whole league rejoicing!
2. Hashutites (=2) vs Drew 1-1 vs Spikerøg Draaks
It took the most spectacular failure from Marnak the bull centaur to deny Hashutites winning this drunken bloodfest. A failed rerolled pro-dodge saw the game in the most unpredictable fashion. Still undefeated, but now 4 points away from the Division Title and look vulnerable to the teams beneath them.
3. EcuKhemrical Matters (=3) Lost 1-2 vs Metal Heads
When the Misr men get the ball in the cage, it's virtually a guaranteed touchdown. It took a brilliant piece of defensive work from the Heads to steal the win. The game will be remembered for the off-field battle of the bands AND the slaughter of THREE players in the closing minutes!
4. LT's Metal Heads (6) Won 2-1 vs Ecukhemrical Matters
The biggest climbers in this week's Power Rankings. The tactically flexible Metal Heads showed their versatility on both sides of the game. A clever switching of flank attacks and a wonderfully constructed steal to grab a much needed win to keep their hopes alive. Will the head-to-head win matter for the playoff seedings?
5. Golden Eternals of Chaqua (4) Drew 2-2 vs Darklands Resurrected
The GEC drop out of the top 4 on the back of dropping more points from winning positions. It's 4 points gone from their last 2 matches. The Lizardmen are truly the QMLS entertainers!
6. Darklands Resurrected (8) Drew 2-2 vs Golden Eternals of Chaqua
Only the Skaven have defeated the ever improving Darklands, and the presence of the extraordinary Dagg the Mummy and Marrowravager the Ghoul, they have 2 of the most gifted players in the league.
7. Spikerøg Draaks (5) Drew 1-1 vs Hashutites
The brave souls of the North staggered intoxicatingly to a fine draw against undefeated former champions, Hashutites. Defeat seemed likely, but divine intervention from the skies zapped one attack dead and another act of sheer luck kept the Norse in the race for the play-offs. It came at some cost, however, as emerging star, Jotunn the Yeti was killed, and Ulfwerner Fenris retired early to a serious injury.
8. Underearth Assassins (7) Lost 0-2 vs Bognor Bograts
The Dark Elves had a game to forget, though many doubt that they'll ever consign this from their memories. The team lost on the field by a dazzling defensive rat display, but off it, the team had virtually 500 TV wiped off! It'll be a long process to rebuild the squad. Their season has virtually ended.
9. OrcaLoca (=9) Bye 0-0 vs Mega Smashers
We were denied a spectacle between the two heavy hitters at the foot of the table. Last time out was an incredible bloodbath worthy of the annuls of the QMLS. OrcaLoca have never been the same again since that match!
10. Mega Smashers (=10) Bye 0-0 vs OrcaLoca
The game versus the greenskins was to mark the 1 year anniversary of these extraordinary brutes, the game hadn't gone to plan as the ogres boneheaded their way to the wrong fields, whilst the greenskins shat themselves in memory of their last encounter.
Results:
Bognor Bograts 2 Head-Lyce Creep (2) vs Underearth Assassins 0
Riska's MVP: The Bognor Bograts entire squad. So much brutality in a single game hasn’t been seen since a “history repeating itself” semi final of Superleague III, when the Underearth Assassins were again on the receiving end when they faced the Skaven Psychos.
Ecukhemrical Matters 1 (Ptahsut Tabra) vs LT's Metal Heads 2 (Melvins, Mastodon)
Riska's MVP: Mastodon's steal in the second was pure brilliance against a formidable offense, but his untimely death will be a miss for the Heads and the QMLS.
Darklands Resurrected 2 (Marrowravager 2) vs Golden Eternals of Chaqua 2 (Otl du Lac, Tenqtilt)
Riska's MVP: Marrowravager, this player is a freaking of nature and on current form is almost certainly going to be involved when the leagues MVP is up for grabs at the end of the season, that’s if he lasts that long in the current climate of pure mutilation.
Hashutites 1 (Marnak) vs Spikerøg Draaks 1 (Olaf Thorson)
Mango's Valuable Player: The NorseHorse Burger or the Minotaur steak? It's a tough call - but fresh Yhetee never tasted so good!
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