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Writer's pictureMango Fandango

Season XII Preview & Game 1 Power Rankings

Updated: Mar 28, 2020

The fans are hollering as the pre-season is virtually complete. The new season will have some major changes as the league expands to a whopping 12 franchises. As many as four new teams will grace the pitch, to join old favourites AND the readmission of two former heavyweights!


The famed quartet of Gutter Runners are no more, but are replaced with a new Skaven team oozing with the fastest guy ever to play Blood Bowl! Whilst the menacing Hashutites will look to retain the title of Champions once more.


Expect blood, gore and glory in the latest edition of the QMLS.


Grab some Bloodwieiser and swtich on the telly to Cabal Vision, because Season XII is about to BEGIN!!!!!


1. Hashutites (Chaos Dwarfs)

Strengths: Undefeated and undisputed two time champions have the tools in the box to threaten any side. Masters in defence and adept at scoring break-away touchdown due to the surprising speed of the matching duo of Bull Centaurs, Hashutites will be the team to beat!

Weaknesses: Imposed by QMLS rules, Hashutites will be running a virtually skeletal squad for their opening encounters and will miss the muscle of Ferdinand the Third Mino and a 6th Chorf. Painfully, however, they will be playing with zero rerolls and will look to the fans to earn their keep.

Key Player: Fharlakk Dyingfeet - Current League MVP and the deadliest killer in the game.

Prediction: Runners-Up


2. Golden Eternals of Chaqua (Lizardmen)

Strengths: Squad depth of Saurus guardians that can hide the skilled skinks away from harm, the GEC have grown to be formidable opponents. It took one failed dodge and two bone-heads to deny a win against Hashutites in their semi. Not to be underestimated.

Weaknesses: Two Guardians are carrying niggling injuries, whilst the skinks aren't adept at dealing with specialist strip-ballers. Of all the teams in the QMLS, the GEC are probably the happiest team to see the back of the Bognor Bograts.

Key Player: Oatluax du Lac - The gifted skink slips through tackles with abandon and will be difficult to stop once more.

Prediction: Winners!


3. Ecukhemrical Matters (Khemri)

Strengths: Unmatched reliable strength and more killers than most, the Khemri have proven experts in cage-fighting. Once they get going, it's difficult to stop the boney train.

Weaknesses: High agility players have time and again exposed the achilles heel. The Ancient Ones will need to formulate a plan to halt their losing record as their group is filled with slippery customers.

Key Player: Cairo Practor - The Blitz-Ra is a reliable source of kill power and shows no mercy. Also has one of the coolest names in the league.

Prediction: Missing out on Play-offs


4. LT’s Metal Heads (Humans)

Strengths: A blend of hitting power, speed and agility flows through the team. Jack of all trades but Master of none, the team has a toolset to rival any in the QMLS.

Weaknesses: The lack of any specialist players may force the Humans into uncomfortable situations and will depend on some hot dice to get through the season.

Key Player: Isis - the talented Thrower has kept the side in many contest and is instrumental to any offensive hope.

Prediction: Missing out on Play-offs


5. Darklands Resurrected (Undead)

Strengths: The strongest and the most agile players can be found in only this Undead team. No team crushed the Hashutites in the bashing game like Darklands, and they will feel aggrieved to not win the game! Getting to the play-offs for the first time will be their highest priority.

Weaknesses: Hopes rely heavily on the presence of the Mummies. Should either are taken off on the stretcher, the team may capitulate.

Key Player: Marrowravager - Voted 3rd in the League MVP, the slippery ghoul has the beating of most defenders, he'll need to have a repeat season to get the Darklands to the heights they aspire to.

Prediction: Quarter-Finals


6. Underearth Assassins (Dark Elves)

Strengths: A frightning motley of pointy-eared elves return from their vacations of Naggaroth rejuvenated and look menacing! The team look set to storm the league with unrivalled flair, we know that they can score, and they now have players that are playmakers in defence.

Weaknesses: Historically, Underearth have had to rebuild 2-3 times a season. They cannot afford a disasterous brawl and will be hoping their 3 lightly armoured players don't get into trouble.

Key Player: Salina Darkstride - The gifted witch-elf looks built to give any ball-handler a headache. She's not yet the finished article, but she is certainly a threat from almost anywhere in the pitch.

Prediction: Quarter-Finals


7. Mersey Scythe (Necromantics)

Strengths: Deadly positionals in the form of two powerful Werewolves, who are backed by some hungry Wights and Flesh Golems, look set to storm the QMLS. Led by the former coach of Bognor Bograts, the Scythe have the speed and punch to shred those who face them.

Weaknesses: Untested in competitive environment, the Necromantics will find a host of veterans eager to put the young pups in their place.

Key Player: Steven Gerrard - The werewolf has the makings of a great player, the agility of an elf and the power of a veteran Chorf blocker. He'll be a menace.

Prediction: Semi-Finals


8. Dwarverhampton Wanderers (Dwarfs)

Strengths: The unity within the Dwarfen camp is remarkable. Each player is designed to complement the other with no apparent weakness. The Dwarfs aren't goal shy, either, as the returning team from Season IX managed to score 3 TDs in one game! They will be difficult to beat.

Weaknesses: No stellar individual blessed with exceptional stats, the team may be found wanting when facing sides that can dictate clock management... and TDs.

Key Player: Paulie Dahlberg - the Runner was the first player in the modern era of the MiddleLands to score a hattrick, a lot rests on Paulie and his brother, Regan, to step up to the plate.

Prediction: Semi-Finals


9. The Warpstone-Union (Underworld Denizens)

Strengths: A freakish blend of mutants that can disrupt any opponent's well made plans. They possess the kill skills to make this a race to the grave, and the tricksters to run through the tiniest gap. They are in a group with few highlight reel tacklers, a huge plus in the goblins' survival rates. The coach is adept at spotting clever plays, taking home the top 2 places in Season XI's Ballon C'law: Play of the Season.

Weaknesses: The team may be finding the punching game extremely tough in the opening rounds of the new season. A lack of guards and lots of lightly armoured teammates suggest that this peculiar troop will need to choose their prey carefully.

Key Player: Flussquatsch - The clawed Troll will be critical to protecting his smaller teammates as well as shutting down the key runners of opponents.

Prediction: Missing out on Play-offs (but will be the Season's best entertainers)


10. Mega Smashers (Ogres)

Strengths: The behemoths return after a winter of contentment in hibernation. The Ogres return with players that on paper look terrifying. Key skills in the big guys suggest that they will set to do all out damage!

Weaknesses: Every ogre is skilled but vulnerable to lapses in concentration, whilst the titchy snotlings will be reliably.... killed.

Key Player: Kargna da Boss - the monumental ogre is the strongest player in the QMLS and will look to surprise any unsuspecting ball carrier.

Prediction: Missing out on Play-offs


11. Lochaotic Rotten Posse (Nurgle)

Strengths: The pestilent mutants from Nurgle are formidably built to stop any offense. The Warriors are designed in dictating space, the rot-spawn Beast is a creature of hellish perfection, and the Pestigors are the designated killers.

Weaknesses: No clear ball-handler and fragile rotters mean that offense may be difficult and frustrating to watch! A lot will depend on keeping the regenerating players fit for battle.

Key Player: Formerly Brad Pitt - the tentacled creature will be difficult to escape. If positioned well, he could single-handedly scupper any opponent's scoring chance.

Prediction: Quarter-Final


12. Kouillus (Skaven)

Strengths: Skavens have always threatened in every tournament, and the new rat pack will be gnawing for action. There's more strength that usual, however, so expect a different approach to the explosive exploits from former champions Bognor Bograts.

Weaknesses: Thin on playmakers on defence, the Kouillus might struggle to get the ball back form the punching dwarfen behemoths and the deft ball-handers in their group.

Key Player: Scaptuk - The fastest player in QMLS history will grace the pitch and every team will marvel at the pure speed of this freakish gutter runner. No lead is safe with this player on the pitch.

Prediction: Quarter-Finals

And there you have it! Twelve hungry teams, many new and many familiar. The season should be quite unpredictable, however, as we see the old guard making big changes and the new recruits prepped for the long haul.


Good luck to all the coaches. May The Blood Flow In Your Favour.

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