Two weeks into the new season and NO team has a 100% win ration nor a 100% loss ratio. Season XII is turning this tournament tighter than than a pair of skrunken leggings designed for a gnat's arse.
Nurgle and Humans were surprise victors in their respective matchups and it's blown the competition wide open. But the more things change, the more things remain the same with Hashutites grinding out another 1-0 win to keep the reigning champions just 1 game from equalling the all-time QMLS unbeaten streak of 14.
1. EcuKhemrical Matters (▲3)
Won 2-0 vs The Warpstone-Union
The Ancient Ones of Misr powered through to a deserved victory over a stunned Underworld outfit. The Khemri played a wider cage formation than normal, respecting the hired wizard, but their opponents were reduced to 4 players before the start of the second half (and the Troll unwilling to participate after an early KO from a bomb) making this a relatively easy 3 points.
2. Hashutites (▲4)
Won 1-0 vs Kouillus Hashutites remain undefeated in 13 and shy of just 1 game to equal an historic unbeaten streak set by the Underearth Flamers and Bognor Bograts. The Chorfs looked rarely in danger of losing but will count themselves lucky that the game did not end in a draw. The chorfen machine is shaping up to be as dastardly good as ever.
3. Lochaotic Rotten Posse (▲7)
Won 1-0 vs Golden Eternals of Chaqua
The Nurgle acolytes stunned the QMLS with a handsome victory over pre-season favourites, the GEC. Legend has it that the clawed mutants have found a taste for blood and seek to destroy all in their wake. Back to back clean sheets mean the LRP are lean fighting machines.
4. Dwarverhampton Wanderers (▲6)
Won 1-0 vs Mega Smashers
In a perfect matchup, the dwarfs made "short" work of their opponents on both sides of the ball. The only TD came from a defensive takeaway but the lead never looked in threat. There will be sterner tests ahead, but the Wanderers are proving stout opposition in the middle third.
5. Golden Eternals of Chaqua (▼1)
Lost 1-0 vs Lochaotic Rotten Posse
The cold ones were reeling with anguish after an encounter with claw players at Farmer Maggot's Farm. Reminiscent of their defeat in Season XI's semi-final defeat, the lizards were found wanting against deadly mutations. Nonetheless, GEC have shown defensive tenacity that their opponents had to work for their sole TD.
6. LT's Metal Heads (▲12)
Won 3-1 vs Underearth Assassins
Spectators were treated to an exhibition of the artisitc side of Blood Bowl as the Metal Heads out-foxed the glamorous Dark Elves. The third touchdown was a masterclass in turning a dire situation to a winning drive - something these humans are adept at.
7. Mega Smashers (▼2)
Lost 0-1 vs Dwarverhampton Wanderers
It was a long afternoon for the numbnuts of gigantic ogres, as they were unable to protect the ball from their troublesome opponents. A silver-lining, however, as they halted the shield wall of dwarfs advancing to the endzone.
8. Mersey Scythe (8)
Drew 1-1 vs Darklands Resurrected
The Necromantics tasted both great misfortune and great slices of luck in their hard fought draw against veterans Darklands Resurrected. One wolf smashed his hand when trying to save a TD but fell on his ass, whilst the the other crushed a Mummy on the line of scrimmage! Damage dealing galore in this entertaining draw.
9. Darklands Resurrected (▲11)
Drew 1-1 vs Mersey Scythe
The Undead eeked out a fine draw in the Death Match Derby in a slugfest. The game swung both ways and Marrowravager proved the key to keeping the tie open, indeed he almost won it at the end but was sacked on the very last moments. A strong showing, albeit, without a win to their name.
10. Underearth Assassins (▼5)
Lost 1-3 vs LT's Metal Heads
The squad of arguably the most talented set of individuals were unstuck by a closely-knitted group of human combatants. The Delves could not muster sustained pressure as the their surprisingly fleet-footed opponents caused a major upset. The Assassins will need to readdress their gameplan for the remainder of the regular season.
11. Kouillus (▼9)
Lost 0-1 vs Hashutites The new Skaven outfit had a tough outing in their first ever Chaos Cup Derby. The early loss of their fastest player, Scalptuk, to a damaged back set the tone as they had little to counter the pounding behemoth that is the Hashutites. They start their next game with just one ready Gutter Runner!
12. The Warpstone-Union (▼10)
Lost 0-2 vs EcuKhemrical Matters
It was a painful night for the Underworld as the Khemri shredded through the team in quicktime. By the restart from the first Matters' TD, the Union were reduced to a Troll-less foursome. That numerical inferioriry would continue into the second half as the Troll was heedless to the coach's call to get back on the field - even though the source of it's anguish was sent off! (Bomber Dribblesnot's bomb knocked out the goiliath).
Results:
Hashutites 1 ( Ogedei)
Kouillus 0
Mango's Valuable Player: Fharrikk Deadface climbed out of his illustrious partner's shadow in crime to deal punishment on the unfortunate rat-pack. The clawed Chorf was responsible for removing the dangerous trio of storm vermin, gutter runner and rat ogre, that latter suffered successive knockout blows!
The Warpstone-Union 0
Ecukhemrical Matters 2 (Ptatshut Djahor)
Mango's Valuable Player: Ptatshut Djahor the Blitz-Ra once again turned in a stellar performance, this time by removing virtually half the Union's squad off the pitch single-handedly. The 5 injuries and 1 kill stands may be an individual QMLS record.
Darklands Resurrected 1 (Marrowravager)
Mersey Scythe 1 (Robbie Fowler)
Mango's Valuable Player: Steven Gerrard was thrown more than just a sack of bones as he tore through the Darkland's undead flesh. Even Mummies were not safe from the clawed puppy. His game-saving tackle on Marrowravager kept his side in the hunt for future success.
Golden Eternals of Chaqua 0
Lochaotic Rotten Posse 1 (Bazinga)
Mango's Valuable Player: Bazinga the tackling maestro was key to halting the potent offensive threat of the GEC. Few teams can shut out the lizards, fewer will have as much success as the newboys with this pestigor in hot-form.
Dwarverhampton Wanderers 1 (Dennis Cranmer)
Mega Smashers 0
Mango's Valuable Player: Sheldon Skagg the Troll Slayer was tasked with taking down the monumental wall of ogres, and did so with efficiency to give the dwarfen line dominance in the scrum. He also force fumbled to allow teammate Cranmer to score the winner.
Underearth Assassins 1 (Roxana Nightfury)
LT's Metal Heads 3 (Lord Dying, Melvins (2))
Mango's Valuable Player: Melvins was the pick of a spritely bunch with a brace in the second half to turn the game on it's head. The dauntless catcher profited from the work of others, but he converted the sparse chances with aplomb.
Comments