The final week of the regular season was tumultuously decisive, a fine end to a fantastic season. The top 4 was not certain until the final phases of the last game, and even then there was a 4 way tie for the last spot.
The Lizardmen pulled off the win to secure safe passage and will face the mighty QMLS veterans, Hashutites, in the semis, whilst reigning champions Bognor, square off against league rookies, EcuKhemrical Matters. It took a whole lot of maths to figure out who would take the final berth, and it proved the ancient ones would keep their season hopes alive.
Week 9 also saw 2 incredibly tight derbies: The Death Match between Khemri and Darklands, with the result critical to both teams' post season prospects; and the Chaos Cup, where we saw the successive champions play out an entertaining 1-1 draw.
1. Bognor Bograts (Last Week ↔1) Drew 1-1 vs Hashutites
Bograts retained the Chaos Cup by holding on to a draw against a second half onslaught from the Chaos Dwarfs. The swiftness of the gutter runners once again were at hand to breach the best defence in the league, but they could not prevent the power blocking of Hashutites' offensive line.
The draw ended a record sequence of 13 wins, but the Skaven remain the team to beat as have tasted just 1 defeat in 2 full regular seasons.
2. Hashutites (↔2) Drew 1-1 vs Bognor Bograts
The Hashutites turned in another highly charged display of raw power to earn a deserved draw and preserve their undefeated record for the season. Like the Bograts, the Chaos Dwarfs have lost just once in 2 full regular seasons - and only twice in 3 regular seasons.
The dwarfen outfit are a menace to all in the QMLS and they can never be discounted in the race of the ultimate prize as Champions
3. Golden Eternals of Chaqua (▲5) Won 2-1 vs OrcaLoca
The Chaquans dispelled their allergy to victories with a timely win against a luckless horde of orcs. It wasn't plain sailing as it took the hugely impressive skink Oatluax du Lac to dodge through a series of tackles and scoop the loose ball in the endzone for the game-winning touchdown in the last minute of time.
The Golden Eternals, however, have fleshed out the sauruses in time for their play-off bout against Hashutites. They sure have the muscle, support and speed to cause an upset, but the pre-season dark horses will be challenged by some terrifying claws.
4. EcuKhemrical Matters (▲8) Won 1-0 vs Darklands Resurrected
The archaic Tomb Kings pulled off the ultimate end of season miracle to secure the final play off berth. After a promising start to the season, the campaign was derailed by numerous mishaps that opponents took full advantage of.
The Khemri, however, showed grit and resilience to conquer their Undead rivals in the Death Match Derby against Darklands. A combination of zone blocks and judicious use of dirty play, had Matters in a commanding position by half-time. On defence, they managed something that few achieved - to injure Marrowravager and snuff out the lightning offensive prowess of the Resurrected.
5. Darklands Resurrected (▼3) Lost 0-1 vs EcuKhemrical Matters
The Darklands struggled to breakdown their rugged opponents in the first ever Death Match Derby to be played out, and their hopes hinged on Marrowravager. The super-ghoul, however, was shutdown by the immovable defence of the Khemri.
Losing both Mummies in the defensive side of the ball early in the first half exposed the soft underbelly to a brutal showing of Tomb Guardian strength. This was a chastising defeat, but a minor blip in a brilliant Undead campaign.
6. LT's Metal Heads (▼4) Lost 1-2 vs Trololololololol
The Metal Heads slipped out of Championship contention by falling at the final hurdle in this shock defeat! Last season's semi-finalists left the stadium stunned by Scrappa Sorehead's miraculous touchdown at the end of the match,
The humans were well set for the draw after a pummelling by the monstrous ogres, and even secured a 1-0 lead only to watch in dispair as the travelling cohort of boneheaded beasts ate at the lead. The defeat ends another helter-skelter campaign with many highlights. No doubt LT's men will bounce back in the new season,
7. Spikerøg Draaks (▲8) Won 2-0 vs Underearth Assassins
Spikerøg produced a valiant display to end the season on a high! The punching game outshone their Dark Elf that delighted the senses. It was a tense encounter with neither side monopolising the ball until near the half time whistle.
But once the great Yhetee furied into the fray, the Norsemen dictated and won handsomely to end their opponent's hopes of a top 4 finish. The brilliance from the men of the frozen wastes, however, could not elevate them to the play-offs due to a weaker head-to-head. Nonetheless, tales of the Draaks' heroic failure ensured that they depart to the taverns of Valhalla with beating chests and booming pride.
8. Underearth Assassins (▼7) Lost 0-2 vs Spikerøg Draaks
The play-offs were in the grasps of the evil elves, and victory in their final round-robin encounter would have ensured a spot against all odds. But their reckoning manifested in true Underearth fashion, through numerous failed dodges.
The curse of the dodges struck to compound the vicious nature of their Norse opponents, and were soon whittled to a handful by the end of the match. The taste of defeat was even more bitter as the Assassins lost the promising rookie blitzer, Tallin, to a smashed collar bone, whilst the debutante witch died ingloriously.
Once again, the Dark Elves have to rebuild after showing potential.
9. Trololololololo (▲10) Won 2-1 vs LT's Metal Heads
The Amarillians recorded the first ever victory by an ogre team in QMLS history with a fantastical feat of extraordinary skill and luck by superstar Scrappa Sorehead. The Trololololololol's brief stint has been memorable, scoring 4 TDs in 3 games and proving that all creatures great and small are capable of lighting up the league.
As short of the campaign was, we will have fond memories of the ogres and their pets trundling into the far distance as they are shown the way to home.
10. OrcaLoca (▼9) Lost 1-2 vs Golden Eternals of Chaqua
Never has a team in the QMLS suffered such misery at key moments than the thick-skinned greenskins. Once again, the orcs were robbed of a worthy point after conceding in the last minute against the Chaquan lizards.
Defeat ensured that OrcaLoca failed to win a single game, and had to tender to their dented egos. It remains to be seen whether we shall ever see a season like this again from anyone. If there was an award for being unlucky, then the OrcaLoca wins that dubious "honour" hands down.
Results:
Ecukhemrical Matters 1 (Eugene Nix)
Darklands Resurrected 0
Mango's Valuable Player: Ptashut Aphe the dirty player was instrumental in removing key players to open up the pitch in the first half. Removing a Mummy at the start of the match set the tone.
LT's Metal Heads 1 (Isis)
vs Trolololololol 2 (Blottie Krankzahn, Scrappa Sorehead)
Mango's Valuable Player: Scrappa Sorehead the legendary Superstar was worth his weight in gold with a glorious touchdown at the end to shock the Metal Heads. It was a moment of magic that is a late contender for Play of the Season.
Golden Eternals of Chaqua 2 (Oatluax du Lac 2)
vs OrcaLoca 1 (Budellar)
Mango's Valuable Player: Oatluax du Lac recorded has a reputation for winning games for the Chaquans single-handedly. With every passing game, the bounty on this skink's head raises astronomically.
Bognor Bograts 1 (HeadLyce Creep)
vs Hashutites 1 ( Marnak)
Mango's Valuable Player: Fharlakk Dyingfeet was at his finest to create the holes for Marnak's equaliser. Indeed, the rats were routed as Hashutites searched for the equaliser in devastating style.
Spikerøg Draaks 2 (Torben Hjorturson 2)
vs Underearth Assassins 0
Mango's Valuable Player: Diúrvér Kegsplitter, the fabulous Yhetee, was at hand to break the elven defensive formation with his mighty claws. The great beast injured 3 players to set the tone for a comfortable win.
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