Debutant Bone-Headed Ogres Spoil the Orc Procession

OrcaLoca 0

MEGA SMASHERS 0

The troupe of ogres from the eastern darklands, in the Mountains of Mourn, finally entered the fray of the QMLS and pulled off a surpise debut draw against play-off chasing OrcaLoca.

The ugly maw of Martha the Slaver damaged the Orcs lin a way never seen in the QMLS.

It was a just reward for the MEGA SMASHERS after a year long migration that culminated in the secret slaughter of the Crescent Moon vampires. The bone-headed visitors' feast on the dead satiated the maw, temporarily, and they turned their attention on the toughest hide of all creatures: orcs.

The orc blitzers suffered the brunt of the Ogre raid and their influence waned as the first half progressed. Kargha da Boss began the brutal misadventure by fracturing the skull of QMLS veteran Mongee, and Martha took up the baton in a display of awe that virtually guaranteed a destruction of OrcaLoca's defence.

Ogres are thick and slow, but they taught a lesson in serving knuckle sandwiches.

Bifulc, the legendary tackler, was first of many of Martha's victims, suffered a broken jaw and will miss the final league game. Srifac, the orc thrower, followed suit, by a knockout hit that had him seeing stars for the rest of the match, and another veteran Rutto had his hips smashed by this abhorrent freak of nature.

The bloodshed was not all one-way traffic, however, as the orcs found solace in cracking snotling bones. The sound was clearly influencial as many a fling found themselves unable to continue. Of greater concern for Mega Smashers, the leader of the pack - and the only ogre with the knowhow in blocking - Urkark Halfling-Muncher suffered an early demise at the hands of Gabber Scassafacc.

The squishiness of snotlings made entertaining viewing.

Removing a mountain of ogre flesh opened new doors for OrcaLoca, who used their superior defensive skills to deny a touchdown. The sides went in at half-time all square, much to the delight of the famished ogres who gouged through the crowd.

The rare sight of orcs being outnumbered was to behold! Facing the unorthodox defence of snotling linemen, the orcs found hard-going trying to catch their titchy opponents. At every turn, new orc thrower Scinn Acuoll found himself unable to shake off the close attention of the brave/foolish side-stepping snots.

Toppling an ogre is no mean feat. Damaging an ogre's back is a whole new ball game!

Eventually, Martha struck once more to sack the carrier and send the ball into her grateful menacing grope. But the slender chance of a shock win disappeared when Gabber Scassafacc saved face with a sack to cough the ball into no-mans land and secure a signature goalless draw.

The Orcs are set to square up against high-flying Celestial Comedy, who are keen to test the fine Orc defence (conceded just 2 TDs in 7 games). Fourth spot is not yet secured, but they remain favourites.

The Mega Smashers will take pride - and a lot of food - from this showing. Next up for the ogres are the nimble dark elves, Underearth Assassins - another outfit habouring hopes of a playoff finish.

Mango's Valuable Player: Martha the Slaver turned in the finest debut performance since Braduk Arapacap in game 1 of last season. Her 3 injuries, 2 sacks and a knockout in one match has set a high standard for the newly arrived, though long-time in coming Ogres!