Brutal Bograts Hammer Celestials To Claim Divisional Title

Bognor Bograts 3

Snablutch Slobber, Das Quyita-Reech, Chiqui Arsol

Celestial Comedy 0

Bognor Bograts turned in a murderous performance on the eve of the play-offs by annihilating the Pro Elf, who tasted defeat for the first time on the field, whilst running in 3 unanswered touchdowns. The victory confirms the Divisional Title and their place as number 1 seeds. Defeat forces the beleaguered Comedy to face the mighty Hashutites.

Celestials suffered their first defeat on the field in QMLS history.

Celestial Comedy began as big underdogs in defence and employed the use of 3 apothecaries and 2 Bloodweiser Babes to keep numerical parity. Unfortunately for the team, however, there was no guarantee in the quality of medical assistance as they saw key blitzer, Aearian Nallron, and a fellow line-elf die on-field, whilst playmaker Rhhaasdoien suffered a permanent broken neck and the talented catcher, suffered a smashed hip when the crowds grabbed onto him robe.

Much of the damage inflicted were dealt by the power-punching duo of Rogre Breaknut and Troy Pekorinho, who took turns in pounding any who stood in the way. Their endeavours created the space for Snablutch Slobber to exploit his side-stepping ways.

The frenzied Rogre unleashed his fury upon the Elves.

Bognor Bograts kept their shape when in possession, whilst surveying the Elven defence. Probing for holes, Troy Pekorinho punched repetitively without causing injury, though the knock outs made the numbers favour the rushing game through Slobber.

But a moment of poor positioning near the end of the half allowed Upadgalad the Elf catcher to blitz through, only to get stiff-armed by the resolute Gutter Runner for a late 1-0 lead into half time.

Snablutch rises above the rest to steal the ball mid-air.

The second half saw the elven gameplan fall into tatters. The classic deep rush from the catchers and the swift passing down one flank failed as Slobber completed his first interception of his career - plucking a high ball from the grasp of Upadgalad.

The game then turned sour for the Celestials as both catchers were removed in swift succession and the thrower suffering a broken neck from Pekorinho's mighty blow. Slobber turned from scorer to provider with a pass to Das Quiyita-Reech (pronounced: That's Quite A Reach) who smothered the ball and ran in for the killer second.

The catchers had a tortored game against the Bograts.

Before resumption, only 1 line elf remained as both blitzers were eliminated - one of whom was killed - and they could only muster 5 for the restart. With little left to play for, the elves slapped their ratty opponents to the ground and stuck in the boot. The ploy exposed acres of space for the Gutter Runners to run into and Chiqui Arsol ran in the 3rd as the last act of the game.

Both teams qualify for the post-season as first and third seeds respectively, and will be separated until the final, should both survive their encounters. For the Celestials, they face the daunting prospect of meeting reigning champions Hashutites. For Bognor, it'll depend on who wins the race for 4th between OrcaLoca and LT's Metal Heads.

Snablutch's stiff-arm knocks out Upadgalad's sack attempt.

Mango's Valuable Player: Snablutch Slobber turned in a fine performance and covered his role as well as his injured mutant safety - Head-Lyce Creep. Slobber will be fondly remembered for his stiff arm at the end of hte half and his interception at the start of the second. He single-handedly swung this contest.