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Beleaguered Bograts breeze, but at a price.

Bognor Bograts 3

Crescent Moon 0

Gruff Rhyss-Jones, Snablutch Slobber, Head Lhyce-Creep


A blistering display of swashbuckling counter-attacks from the Bognor Bograts continued their impressive start to the season with yet another 3 TD win, bringing their total to an incredible 10 in only their third game of the campaign. It came at a high price against the Crescent Moon, whom in typical fashion wrecked havoc on and off the pitch in an astonishing game of brutality and finesse.

Gruff Rhyss-Jones celebates the Bograts first touchdown.
Gruff Rhys-Jones celebates the Bograts first touchdown.

Bognor were reduced to 7 rats just a quarter of the way through the game in a bruising start as the vampires turned up the heat after a cheeky foul on the prone vampire Uthman Ibn Affan that went unpunished.


Uthman survived the sneaky play, but this act incensed the Moon players and immediately, thrall Ertugrul had put a very early end to Rogre Breaknut’s game with a fearsome tackle that smashed the hand of Breaknut. With no Guard and mighty blow to retaliate Crescent's strength, the blocking game swung permanently in the visitor's favour.

Ertugrul set the tone of the game by removing the juggernaut, Rogre, on Turn 1.
Ertugrul set the tone of the game by removing the juggernaut, Rogre, on Turn 1.

Crescent's influence grew when the following phase saw veteran kicker Kreelut carried off after another robust challenge as well as the mighty Vampire Ali brutally ending veteran thrower and rats team leader Dmirtri Ratmeister’s life with a pile on to leave the Bograt's offensive drive in tatters and the crowd baying for more.


Whilst the Moon’s defensive line were dismembering the Bograts, mutant runner Creep fled the security of the pack and raced down the exposed left flank, clothes-lining a thrall on his way through with the Moon endzone in sight. He was thwarted by thrall Osman Ghazi with a last ditch tackle that coughed the ball off-field. The home crowd showed sympathy as a kind throw allowed gutter runner Gruff Rhys-Jones to collect and rush unopposed scoring the opening touchdown, but not before Creep in anger got his revenge as he leapt to his feet to surf Ghazi off the field of play.

The Crescent Moon were relentless with their brutality in the first phases of the game.
The Crescent Moon were relentless with their brutality in the first phases of the game.

The restart looked ominous for the Bograts with only 7 players fit enough to restart the game. The daunting prospect of 3/4 of the match remaining against the big hitters changed the complexion of the defence, as they played with relentless risk-taking.


The Crescent Moon went all out attack with their numerical advantage, but as time was ticking away, thralls Al-Walid and Ghazi combined to quickly carry the ball to the half way line. But a chink in the offensive cage proved disastrous as, in a blink of an eye, runner Ghuff-Rhyz Jones slalom through 4 tackles and expertly stripped the ball away, whilst fellow runner Snablutch Slobber collected the ball and headed goal-ward.

Ghuff-Rhyz Jones strips the ball from the thrall's hand after executing a glorious dodge through 4 tackles.
Ghuff-Rhyz Jones strips the ball from the thrall's hand after executing a glorious dodge through 4 tackles.

Slobber gracefully dodged the advances of the rampaging Ali to score a lighting quick second while half the Moon team were still on the half way line seemingly oblivious to the Bograt's sucker punch.


It was critical for the vampires to score before half-time to keep the score close, and Affan made a break for the Bograts endzone only to be carried off the field of play unconscious after a brutal hit from rookie vermin Pekorinho.


The storm vermin repeated the feat seconds before the half time whistle, in an astonishing half, by ending danger man Ali's contribution with a crunching arm fracture.

The Bograts medical team were busy very early on.
The Bograts medical team were busy very early on.

Crescent Moon lined up at the start of the second half with urgency to get back in the game early facing a thread bare Bograts team, though Vampire Umar aided the rats from the off as his lust for blood took over.


Nonetheless, dwindling rats were surrounded in the middle of the park as Vampire Abu-Bakr rushed forward handing the duties to Affan. Sensing a lack of blood spilled since the interval, Affan sought out a team-mate to quench his thirst, consequently placing him in the infirmary.


With renewed vigour, Affan stormed forward into acres of vacant space in Bograts territory only to fall at the vital moment when clear and his second attempt was thwarted by a superb diving tackle from the retreating Snablutch Slobber - prematurely ending yet another drive for the now desperate Moon.

The vampires called in the exterminators to solve the rat infestation.
The vampires called in the exterminators to solve the rat infestation.

Creep seized his moment to evade his markers in the centre scrum and collect the bouncing pig skin deep in his own half. The magnificent 7 players of Bognor had yet again gained ball control.


A gathering storm of thralls and vampires shrouded all avenues of escape, only to see Creep - with assist from his fellow linerats - crowd-surf, sneak through the melee and sprint clear only to fumble the ball at his feet when attempting to launch the ball further down field out of harms way.


But such was the positioning of the Moon’s players who desperately tried to get back, it left Creep the easiest of tasks as he palmed off the advances of the only Moon player with touching distance to gather the ball and run in for an astonishing THIRD touchdown.

The evasive gutter runners proved too much to handle for the Moon.
The evasive gutter runners proved too much to handle for the Moon.

To compound the Moon’s misery, the remaining phases of the match ended with a blizzard, but to the astonishment of the crowd and with the obvious ploy of getting no more injuries, the remaining SIX Bograts decided to up and run in the opposite direction of the ball giving the Moon a clear sight of goal and a consolation, only for thrall Ertugrul to inexplicably slip on the icy surface, while getting into position and the Moon’s misery was ended while the FIVE remaining rats celebrated in jubilation for the heroic win.


Up next for the Bograts and their threadbare squad will be a huge game against Lts Metal Heads, but scoring 3 touchdowns with only 7 players for the majority of the game the Metal Heads must still be wary of the threat the Bograts hold, while it doesn't get any easier for the Crescent Moon who next face reigning champions Hashutites.


Riska's Most Valuable Player - This award can’t go to a single player, but must be awarded to the MAGNIFICENT 7 that for three quarters of the match defied the odds to end up victorious in a game that will long live on the memory.

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