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Writer's pictureMango Fandango

Assassins Bullied To Submission By Impressive Metal Heads

LT's Metal Heads 2

Palms, Melvins

Underearth Assassins 1

Andryel


It was a long pre-season for the Metal Heads, who were desperate to remove the lingering defeat in last season's semis from the taste buds, and they exacted similar punishment on their opponents with the remnants of last season's squad, led by Zara the Slayer, by turning in an awe-inspiring performance to virtually shatter the Dark Elves on Matchday 1 of the new season.

A fine performance from Metal Heads to seal the 3 points.
A fine performance from Metal Heads to seal the 3 points.

There was confusion in the stands as murmurs of superstar Griff Oberwald joining his human comrades, only for the clamouring fans discover to their vivid disgust that it was a mere mercenary lineman sharing the same first name. Derision turned to dissent and a full blown riot delayed kick-off.


The home side settled the quickest and got into the swing of things, with effective usage of the flanks to whittle the dark elf defenders through a combination of some crafty surfing and the hitting power of Mgla, the mighty blowing blitzer.

Zara the Slayer's contribution was telling.
Zara, the acrobatic Amazonian, made a telling contribution.

But as confidence grew in the Metal Heads ranks, there appeared cracks in the drive as the elves, time and again, were able to slip through to sack the ball carrier. First Andryel, then Yreoth and Galddor. The Assassins failed to capitalise as their diminished numbers could not contain the incessant blocking, not outrun the swift catchers.


It was the eventual sack (and surf) from Zara the Slayer who shoved the ball off-field into the path of Palms to convert for a first half lead.

Living life on the edge is hazardous to health as Mgla pushes his opponent off-field.
Living life on the edge is hazardous to health as Mgla pushes his opponent off-field.

Confidence swelled in the Metal Heads and they pushed high up to press the Dark Elves into action, knowing that their numbers comfortably exceeded the visitors. But overconfidence in shutting down pointy-eared abominations is readily punished, and the witch Gaeraearth did just that as she slipped through the scrim to hand-off to Yreoth to run deep into the opponent's half.


Escaping the attention of humans is not easy, however, as Dark Tranquility showed his pacey qualities to save the TD, only to see Hethmair dodge in and pass to Andryel to give Underearth a lifeline.

The Elves moved the ball a great distance with their passing game.
The Elves moved the ball a great distance with their passing game.

Retribution was swift from LT's men as both key elf blitzer guards suffered critical injuries, Blind Guardian smashed the collar bone of Galddar, whilst Gedlil was tackled to suffer serious concussion.


Holes appeared through the Assassin's defence, exploited ruthlessly by Mgla, who lead-blocked Devin through the centre and offload to Melvins for a crucial 2-1 lead.

Devin pump-fakes to ensure the opening for the the winning TD.
Devin pump-fakes to ensure the opening for the the winning TD.

It looked impossible for the Elves to carve an attack, yet Goenraerth constructed one last chance down the right flank to almost pull-off an unlikely equaliser. But once more, Mgla's keen eye caught the witch to send her on a stretcher. The bobbled loose tantalisingly close to the Metal Head's endzone, but Mgla - who else - tackled Yreoth's two desperate lunges for the ball.


Victory was secured and the team had a clean bill of health. The Metal Heads look in prime condition to continue their phenomenal run from last season to squeak into the playoffs. Can they repeat that feat and go further in the QMLS? The Golden Eternals of Chaqua will be a stern test of their credentials - a a repeat of last season's pulsating fixture.

Mgla's fine contribution included this critical sack to deny a late Elven equaliser.
Mgla's fine contribution included this critical sack to deny a late Elven equaliser.

As for the Assassins, the defeat wasn't just painful; it was an exercise in rebuilding. They will take comfort in that they scored on their first game, which may settle the goal shy elves, but with both guard missing next game due to career threatening injuries (amongst a huge number of KO's), their hopes of qualification already look in the balance as they face the murderous Hashutites.


Mango's Valuable Player: Mgla the blitzer carried LT's men to victory with an action-packed performance. He was mobile and seemed to be in two places at once! Sacking, surfing, lead-blocking extraordinaire.

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